Thursday, October 16, 2014


I bought my first real "little black dress" a consignment shop for 5 dollars.  I remember being a little kid and looking inside my mom's closet with awe at all her "work clothes" which I honestly don't remember seeing her ever wear (she stopped working when I was 3).  She would lecture me that every woman's wardrobe should contain a pair of grey and black slacks, a black skirt and a little black dress.  Because with these few items you could add to and create a complete wardrobe for any occasion.  

And now for the real confession: I've never worn a black dress and certainly never a "little black dress."  This one is by no means immodest, down to the knees and high enough up top to be fully covered...and I like it...but it is definitely on a different plane than all the other "church" dresses I own.  I'm not really sure why I bought it...or why I even tried it on.  It's the kind of thing I would want to wear if I went out for something special with someone special...but I don't have anywhere to go or anyone to go with right now.  Perhaps it will sit in my closet forever...who knows? I know.  :o)  Okay back to serious blogging again next time.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

I want to fall in love....forever

God I love you.
Where are we going?
What are we doing?

you exist
for now
but some day it will be heaven and hell.

where and why?
Life is passing.
It is fleeting.

but the same it comes.
We arrive only to see that we go on.

The truth and the love of God
our only refuge.
Time is short.

Nepal is next.  Himalayas.  Anurpurina circuit trek.  Where the blizzard that killed trekkers happened yesterday.  Where I'm going in two weeks.  Yah, freaking out a bit.

Seeking. Struggling.  Thrown back into memories lately.  And apathy.  My rosary is weak.  Mary, you are strong.  Lord, you lead.  I trust in you...really.

Sunday, October 12, 2014


13.1 today for another half marathon awesome!  I am blessed.  Also had the privilege of watching my friends' 6 kids while they were out of town for the weekend and rock climbing for the first time.  Life is a series of adventures...never think you've done it all!  God always has something more.  We just don't see clearly in the dark.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Staircase wit and being pro-life

I walked for an hour praying the rosary by myself this past Sunday in front of an abortion clinic as a part of the 40 Days for Life.  It was relatively quiet, being early in the morning, and very few cars drove by.  None of them slowed or seemed to notice me. That's why I was a little surprised when a bleach-blond woman in a bright red bug yelled out as she drove by, "Adopt a crack baby!"  I wasn't quite sure what she was saying by that.  Maybe that crack babies could never be wanted or loved, that they would be too messed up to actually be able to live in this world with any hope of happiness or maybe she was just calling me self-righteous...good enough to pray silently but not good enough to step up and endanger my own equanimity by taking on an unwanted child.

She made me realize as I looked at the "Choose Life" sign I held over my head and the rosary beads dangling from my hands in front of me that while I may be praying these decades for mothers with unwanted pregnancies, children in danger of abortion or the healing of those who have undergone abortive procedures in the past...I was also praying for every person hurting or stuck in a place they feel they can't escape from evil: the people of Syria, those living under ISIS, those dying and watching the people around them die of Ebola in Africa, those caught up in addiction: porn, drugs, gambling, alcohol, and those who live in abusive situations.  Sin hurts both by its consequences and its allure.  

Yesterday morning a co-worker turned to me and asked what I thought about the Pope's Synod on the family.  He said he hoped it caused some changes to be made; that the ones attacking the Pope and stopping these changes the most were American Bishops, and that the church in America is in big trouble.  His main hope is that the Pope will make it easier to get divorced as this is what he views as the main problem for the church dying out here.  His views included that the church is strong in third world countries but on its way to the grave here.  I was so shocked that he thought the Pope could make divorce morally okay that I could only say, "No, that would never happen."  I was thinking how the gates of Hell cannot prevail, how the Pope is infallible in matters of faith and morals, and how the Church is the only bulwark keeping our society from completely collapsing on itself as it embraces all the things geared to destroy society.  I thought how marriage would no longer mean anything if the Church were to back down on its stance that marriage is between one man and one woman, brought together by God and not to be brought asunder by any man.  But what I said was a quote I read from Time Magazine (I think) that said Pope Francis "isn't changing the words, just the music" and shared that with him. Because I couldn't think of how to say the rest of it.

Since then I have wished I had a better answer.  The Church in America isn't a sign that the Church is in trouble.  It's a sign that America is in trouble.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

I like new posts.

I tried to book a night at the Phantom Ranch in the valley of the Grand Canyon today.  They open up on the first of each month to allow booking an entire year in advance.  I called at 9am.  They had filled up every slot completely and they have no waiting/cancellation list, "because no one ever cancels."  

My friend and I have a great desire to hike the rim to rim trail through the Grand Canyon.  Our plan was to hike down, spend the night, and hike out.  We thought we were planning well enough in advance but apparently not.  Going to have to figure this one out.  From what I've read it is possible to hike the entire 23.4 miles in and out of the canyon in one day.  This may turn out to be our best option.  I just don't want us to be one of the 250 people rescued from the trail yearly.  You can also backcountry camp but I don't know if I relish carrying all the equipment, or frankly, purchasing it.

Received an invitation today to what I know will be a beautiful and delightful wedding in two months.  So excited!  After the last wedding I am ecstatic to attend a Catholic boda between two people who are preparing for a life together that has God as its center.  Also, not being a super close friend of the couple...I wasn't sure I'd make the cut for the invitation list.  So happy to be invited!

Just finished day 2 of 4 twelve hour shifts.  I need to run.  Half marathon coming up in 2 weekends.  Somehow I also managed to promise friends I would watch their 6 children that weekend.  It's going to work out but how tight these next two week's will be!  Sigh I don't know where I'd be without my sister!

Happy Feast of the Little Flower!!  Did you find your rose today?