Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Just finished a beautiful week with some pretty awesome friends visiting from out of state. I took them EVERYWHERE I could think of that was beautiful or fun or holy. My first real stay-cation! They left yesterday just in time for my sister to bring her two little ones and spend the night in my guest room. I was exhausted and by nine we were all hitting the hay.
As I lay in bed I heard my sister start her shower and then two crying little girls lifted their voices in a collective wail. I headed upstairs to find them feeling forgotten and abandoned. While their mom washed I told them stories about her, their aunts and their grandparents. I loved the rapt attention they gave me as I told them how their mommy was a great gymnast, their auntie rode horses while another auntie was a soccer star. I told them how fast their uncle was when he ran and how grandma and grandpa loved to go sailing.
Where does the time go?? It seems like yesterday they were all doing those things...not adults with separate lives and jobs!
Feeling a stronger and stronger impulse to sell my house...if it's possible...but I love it here. I don't know what to do. Trusting God. My girlfriends that just visited are so good at trusting God! I guess God brought them just at the right time to inspire me to not give up or maybe to let go because the anxiety of this mission is starting to get to me! I have to turn in my resignation at work at the end of this month if I plan to leave! And I do!
My last patient of the night crumped right before I was checking out to head home. I had the advanced directives (DNR) talk with the family. Hate that. And cancer. Always hate cancer.
Marathon training is weak right now! I only ran twice in the past 6 days! Heading out to run 8 tomorrow. Gotta buckle down: 26.2 miles is no joke!
Closing with mention of a class I randomly signed up for (thank you dear friend who invited me...you must know by now I have trouble saying no to anything remotely interesting!) on Dante's Paradise. I haven't read it and now I am. It's complex...to say the least. Hope I'm not too stupid...would love to get something from this! Just reading the canto is lifting my spirit...but not sure I'm really understanding anything!! :o)